If you are in a relationship you will know at there are times when they can be fragile and you both need to work on the relationship to keep it fresh, loving and healthy.
We all know that some relationships break up and when this happens it can be devastating on both sides of the relationship, frustration and heartbreak sets in and all we want to know is how to get your Ex back fast. We suffer all kinds of emotions during a break up and at some point we will want to get back at our partners but this is not the best way to move forward and you will certainly not get your ex back fast in your pursue this course.
One of the most influential ways that you can actually get back at your ex will not only put your ex in an interesting predicament, but it may also repair the relationship by showing your ex how important you are and were to them. So not only are these 5 tips to get back at your ex but they are also excellent methods for getting your ex back as well. Here are five things that you can do to help get your Ex back fast.
1 – You must be strong and believe in yourself
You must avoid being needy and clingy this will not help get your Ex back fast it will only serve to push them further away. We never want our Ex to think we are desperate; we want them to think we are coping well and getting on with our lives just fine.
2 – Cut down the communication.
You may think that cutting off communication will leave your Ex thinking that you no longer care or love them. This is not true it will actually have the opposite effect and as they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. This will really help you to get your Ex back fast. What you are trying to achieve here is to let your Ex stew for a while without any contact from you, if you do this your Ex will come to realise just how much they miss you and want you back in their life.
3- You want to be as reasonable and flexible as you can be.
never demand they move out of the house or pick their belongings up by a certain date, this will cause bad feelings and will work against you long term. When you do see your Ex make sure you listen to what they have to say, be sympathetic, your Ex will be surprised at your attitude and this will remind them of the goods times you had together and they will want that back. This is definitely one of the best ways to get your ex back fast, and should be done before you try to contact your ex after a breakup.
4- You need to get out in to the big wide world
this is no time for staying in and feeling sorry for yourself, you may have to force yourself to do this but like we have said you want you’re ex to think you are getting on with your life and not lazing around the house. Make sure you keep in contact with your friends, go out with them and enjoy yourself. There will be a good chance that one of your friends will see your Ex and tell them just how well you are doing, this is a great way to get your Ex wanting to see you and you will have a great chance to get your Ex back fast. Remember you do not have to date anybody or pay attention to the opposite sex you are simply getting out there and enjoying yourself, trust me this will get back to your Ex.
5 – Just be yourself.
When you and your Ex got together in the first place it was because they seen something in you that they liked, now it’s time to be you again and this will draw them back to you again and will help you get your ex back fast. Just let things take their natural course, be yourself, get out and about and your Ex will be back with you sooner than you think.
How To Start A Conversation With Your EX – 3 Simple Ways
Basically, I’m going to explain what you should and should NOT be talking about with your ex if you want to win them back.
I do want to first warn you though, that you should only be actually having real conversations with your ex if you’ve already gone through a period of “No Contact”… and really, ideally, you only want to be talking to your ex when you’ve planned for it in advance.
So, if you do find yourself chatting with your ex, whether it’s planned or unplanned, here are some topics you can talk about safely:
1 — Ask Your Ex Specific, Open-Ended Questions
This is the single best way to ensure you have a conversation that’s positive, upbeat, and interesting to your ex. By asking them specific questions about things in their life or topics of interest, you’re allowing them to share news or updates since the breakup, and you’re avoiding any potentially negative or emotional topics.
Some examples of these specific questions might include stuff like….
“Are you still applying to new jobs, or have you found something already?”
“How’s your thesis paper coming along?
Were you able to land an interview with that biologist?”
“I was talking to a friend about New Zealand last night… Are you still thinking about traveling there for a couple of months?”
“How are you liking the new car?
Does it still have that “new car” smell?”
Again, these are just a few really generic examples… you can pick any topic that you know is interesting to your ex, and then ask a question that will lead to further conversation, or at the very least something more than a “yes” or “no” answer.
Don’t ask about anything that might possibly lead to negative memories or topics, and don’t pick something that seems “forced’… you want to appear natural, as though you’re asking out of pure curiosity and genuinely interested in the answer.
2 — Share Gossip & Updates About Friends or “Insider” Topics
This is an easy one… sharing news or gossip about people you both know is a great option, especially if you have some news or updates on someone or something that will be of interest to your ex. For example, let’s say that before you broke up, you and your ex had often joked about your permanently-single friend Bob…. maybe you had tried to set Bob up, and his dating failures turned into an inside joke for you and your ex.
If Bob found a girlfriend a few weeks ago, after you and your ex broke up, then you can share that news and talk about this new girl that Bob is with… you’ll obviously know that it’s something your ex would be interested in, and it’s a positive topic that might lead to some laughs and a fun conversation.
It’s also a good way of creating an “us vs. them” feeling, reminding your ex of the strong connection you used to share and bringing up some positive memories. If you don’t have any updates, you can also ask your ex for updates on something you talked about regularly when you were together…
For instance, you might ask your ex for the latest news on her cousin Jake’s reality TV show… did he end up signing that contract with HBO? Or has he moved on to another cheesy project that’s doomed to fail? Again, just an example, but you can definitely have some fun with this…
The key is to focus on talking about the same things that you did when you were together, making sure that whatever it is you are talking about or asking about is interesting to your ex and won’t lead to any negative or emotional topics.
3 — Tell Your Ex About The Great Things That Have Happened In Your Life Since The Breakup
This is by far the best topic of conversation any time you’re chatting with your ex…. Now, you can’t overdo it and come across as though you’re bragging or trying to make your ex jealous, so be careful to remain humble and not drag on too long so that your ex becomes bored.
You can’t spend the whole time talking about yourself, either… but talking about the interesting, exciting things that have happened in your life since the breakup is an ideal way to eat up a few minutes of conversation.
To re-build your ex’s attraction for you — both emotional physical attraction — to the point where he or she comes to that decision on their own. And in order to do that, you need to re-shape the mental image that your ex has of you in the back of your mind… one way to do that is to share stories or news about your ‘awesome new life’ to subconsciously shift your ex’s perception of you from “clingy and annoying” to “fun, interesting and desirable”.
There’s many other ways to help change how your ex feels about you beyond this. But like I said, sharing news and especially telling brief interesting or funny stories is an awesome topic of conversation.
For instance — and this is just a quick example off the top of my head — maybe you’ve been studying for your private pilot’s license for some time, and you and your ex talked about it many times. After the breakup, you took your first solo flight, and almost crashed because there was a spider in the cockpit.
And of course, since this happened recently, after the breakup, you can tell that story to your ex the first time you meet in person, knowing that it will make them laugh and break the ice. If you don’t have a funny story, then you can talk about how you went skydiving with your friends last weekend, or tell your ex about the hilarious new instructor who has been teaching the karate you recently enrolled in, or whatever just make sure to keep it brief, upbeat or funny, and avoid being boring.
Now, let’s quickly touch on two topics of conversation you need to avoid like the plague any time you’re talking with your ex. The first thing you should never talk about with your ex is your relationship.
Don’t fall into any drama, serious discussions about your past or future together, your breakup, past problems or arguments.Any and all talk should focus on interesting, fun stuff that will make your ex smile, laugh, or spark their curiosity.
That means you should not talk about getting back together, about who you’re currently dating, how you’re feeling about the breakup, etc…. You don’t want to bring up any of that stuff, because 99% of the time those conversations cause more harm than good. And secondly, you also want to avoid any topic that might lead to disagreement or conflict… that means don’t bring up politics if you’ve argued over that in the past, don’t criticize the actions or behaviours of your ex or their friends and family.
And most definitely do not re-hash old problems or disputes from your past relationship. Any conflict or negative vibes are bad news, especially during the first few times you’re talking with your ex, so stay clear of any topic or comment that might lead down that path. So, now you know what to avoid talking about… and you’ve got 3 ideas for creating positive, interesting conversations. Like I said before, you should be employing my other strategies, such as No Contact, before you get to the point where you’re having real conversations with your ex.